Reading about last week’s CES tech show in Vegas, it appears that the bathroom is now under a tech attack.  I haven’t really figured out why they want me to put cameras, microphones and other sensors in my bathroom, but apparently this is the latest assault on our privacy.

My mirror will now tell me the weather in the morning.  My shower water temperature setting will be adjusted by me talking to it.  And they are talking “intelligent” toilets… a term I find most disconcerting of all.  Do I need a toilet that will flush on a verbal command?

Oh yes, Kohler is planning to incorporate Alphabet’s Google Assistant.  And Moen is working on a voice-activated shower that will remember different settings that you use  – early morning vs. post workout showers, for instance.  Or add essential oils to your shower on command.  Moen will have this ready in March of 2018 using your Alexa.  “Alexa, ask Moen to start my shower”.

Tracking water consumption is another feature – so you can make sure that your significant other doesn’t get to enjoy that extra long hot shower.  Really, turn the shower off after a set amount of time?  Or you can set up an “environmentally friendly flow” which I imagine means a trickle of lukewarm water.

The mirror is where a lot of attention seems to be focused.  Apparently now there is an app that pairs with your mirror.  It features facial recognition and touchless gestures, so you can swipe thru the menu and not smudge your mirror.  In the demo at CES, the mirror recognized a lipstick and played a beauty tutorial on lipstick application.  I would have a particular hand gesture in mind if my mirror starts to correct my makeup routine!

But then there is the whole health monitoring aspect.  The mirror can help track sleep data from a fitness tracker or pair with a smart scale to track your weight.

And, of course, they promise the camera in the bathroom won’t be shared with any of the smart home or media hubs, unless you want to.  I think covering it with duct tape is a more likely solution to keeping your privacy.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall” – no thanks, not for me!